Life is good.....

I am at a really great place right now. My husband has a new job, his hours are so much more family friendly, and its really nice for us to sit together at night and wake up together in the morning. My life is back on track. I have fallen in love again, and it makes life so much easier. I am healthy, I am happy, I am me. Finally.

My birthday is coming.....time to reassess my goals....

Arrgggh so I tried to do this on the ipad but I failed....so here I am adding to it from the lappy.

My 33rd birthday is coming. In fact its 3 months from tomorrow. Things have changed so much since I turned 30. And other things haven't changed at all. My goal was to climb the storey bridge for my 30th. FAIL. I was going to be slim and fit. Fact of the matter is I was over 100kg, and I didn't climb the bridge. Between now and then I have lost over 50kg. BUT my fitness hasn't improved. At. All. I have the things I need, I have the motivation. I have the tunes. I have the gear. I have no drive.

Its like drawing. When I lay in bed at night, I can draw the most beautiful pictures. In reality I can't draw a goat on the white board. Much to the disgust of my nearly 7 year old. But in all fairness, neither can she :P

I think about running. I imagine the wind going past my face. The total alone time. Totally alone in my thoughts. Lost and just running. But I still can't bring myself to start. And thats all it is, I am sure. Once I start I'll be ok. But I just need to start.

Gahhhhh I hope the spring, brings fresh things to my life. Its a fresh start. In so many more ways than one....and I am looking forward to the future.

My bucket list.....

And here it starts, will add to it........will cross things off as the go......



1. Learn to run
2. Climb the story bridge
3. Concer my fear of flying
4. Travel overseas....by plane.
5. Learn to ride a motorbike.
6. get bellybutton pierced. Done

That 1%.....and why we hang onto it........

I read this blog post by Chrissy today, my god, this makes so much sense to me her blog is over here: Bloggitymoo

The 1% mentality.
In the cycle of abuse, or abusive relationships, there is a mentality that you fall victim to. It is what I refer to as the 1% mentality and forms the basis of the mentality that will inevitably keep a person in that cycle. While in counselling, I discovered the answer to what keeps a person returning.
When your life is spinning out of control, your dreams are tumbling and your days are filled with negativity, fear and deep sorrow, all you need is a snippet. A shard of light, a shred of hope and you grab that hope and hold onto it for dear life, praying, begging for it to grow and wash away the misery that your life has become.
When you love someone, all you want is to be in their arms, back in that time when you laughed together, dreamed, planned and had the world ahead of you. You never forget those times and it is the hope that remains that also keeps you there. In the typical cycle, there are always snippets of hope that rear their heads from time to time and it is those snippets that keep that hope alive.
For me, when I had been drowning in this uncontrollable sea of depression, all I needed was one good day. One day and I would be reminded that it could be good. 'See all i need to do is more of this, and he will love me enough. He will want me enough. Maybe I am good enough.' But that was never the case.
He.never.loved.me.enough.
Ever.
It is the most confronting, devastating thing, that. To realise that the one person you live for, just doesn't want you the way they should. Facing the reality that you just aren't good enough, is a knife through your soul. Your spirit. Who you are and who you could be.
That relationship ended 18months ago and yet, I have found, that I have made little personal progress.
I was doing well, or so I thought. Then, that 1% lured me back in. Just that flicker of hope, is all it takes to send you spiralling down that path of the inevitable train wreck.
There.is.no.hope.
There just isn't.
It does not exist other than in your dreams.
Then the wake up call. The cloud of doom that always hovers near, absconds with your 1%, snatches it away, leaving a trail of evil, maniacal cackles lingering, reminding you of your vulnerability, naivety and desperation.
The manipulative and self serving act that it takes to mislead someone that you know well, well enough to understand exactly what you are doing and the impact it has, fills me with a vile hatred that will never wane again. How many years, how many times does it take?
There comes a time when you must take accountability for allowing yourself to continue being the puppet.
For me, personally, that time is way overdue.
The preference for amicable, friendly and peaceful interactions no longer takes priority over what is best for ME. Yes, ME because godamnit I am important and a priority, to ME. Long overdue is a time where I control my hopes, dreams and the health of my spirit.
He didn't deserve me, all that I am and can be, when I met him, nor anytime in the years that followed and most definitely not now.
I have learned, that I have much to learn. I am still quite shell-shocked that any person can have so little personal growth and yet give the appearance that betrays the reality. It scares me.
I am wiping that slate. Every last %.

Ouch.....

Wow what a day. I can't put too much out here in blog land, but my goodness I have had a pretty emotional day. Today someone pretty much told me I am doing a crap job. All because an outside supplier is taking their time getting something to us for him. Its the ONLY thing that's been an issue for this client, and now he is focusing on that and blaming me for it. I HAVE to suck it up. Because at the end of the day my job is to help him.

Sometimes I invest more hours in the office than I should. Today I was there for over 10 hours. It hurts to be accused of doing a shit job. Because I put my heart and my soul into my job. Its an honour to do what I do, but at the end of the day, I am blessed. I must remember that nothing in my life can compare to what these people are going through, and soemtimes it takes someone to tell me I am doing a crap job to make me reflect. And I know I'm not doing a crappy job. But his reaction is that of a broken man. A grieving man, and all I can hope for him is that by releasing his anger on me he has taken some pressure off his heart. As for me....I'll get over it. I have the choice to get over my hurt....he doesn't.

BOOBS........

I know back about 2 years ago I said I would never, ever have optional surgery ever again. Well I have been seriously cosidering a boob job. I am pretty ok with how my body is post losing 55kg. The lose skin doesn't bother me too much, but the loss of my boobs is really bothering me. Pre op I was bordering on a C, on the weekend I bought a AA. When my husband said, "I don't even know what that means." I told him that a AA is just about smaller than a starter bra!! Like a kid would wear!! Its not that boobs define you, its more about me feeling comfortable. I can't get tops to fit nicely....who would have thought 2 years ago this would be soemthing I was even thinking about????

So I am researching........probably never happen....but you gotta have a dream right?

Keep up...its a mish mash!

OK so its been a while......and I don't think I'd be me if it wasn't, so I hope you haven't come to expect anything else!

I've been to the specialist. She says its not the thyroid. So she has referred me to another specialist who covers imbalances in organs ie kidney & liver. I haven't had another episode. I am making an effort to eat regularly to stave it off.

I was thinking of starting a new blog, but I have just decided to let this one evolve with me. I know its no longer about my weight loss, but seriously I don't need to focus on that anymore so this is now just going to be about me.

I need somewhere to put it all down. Although I won't be as open as I'd like to be...but meh....being open is what got me into a mess in the first place :P

I feel really....ummm.......off kilter. I have no idea why. I have a good life, we aren't struggling, I love my job, I love our house, our Daughter is the absolute highlight of my life......but I don't feel happy. I don't know what to do. I have occasions where I could curl up and cry and 10 minutes later all is fine, and I am looking forward to something. Its driving me insane. I'm not sure if its my heart convincing my head to be scattered, or my head telling my heart things.

I feel like I need an escape. Like I just need to get away. But I don't want to get away. I just want to go sit on a cliff somewhere with some music and just lose myself. I decided that maybe a good way to get time to myself was to start running, so I have downloaded the C25k (couch to 5 k) running program. I am now just waiting on the ipod I ordered to arrive then I will do it. The only thing is I BET you $5 Sarah will want to come with me.......I am tempted to buy a ten visit pass to the gym so for the first couple of weeks I can go there after she's gone to bed, and just lose myself in it. I don't want to have to drag her with me...no doubt she'll be talking and stopping and starting.........

I even considered church. Maybe I can get some guidance there. But I don't even know what church to start with.......Gah my head is all over the place!!

In the mean time I'll just pump up the music and lose myself.......

Had my ultrasound today.....

Ok so today I had my ultrasound. Took all of 2 minutes. Went to the dr for the results. I have nodules on my thyroid. There is at least 3. I am sure she said one was 5cm. But maybe she said 5mm. She has referred me to a specialist. She mentioned the C word, and then I didn't hear much else. I got in to the specialist tomorrow at 3pm, so mum is coming with me. They might do a biopsy, but I am not sure if they do that tomorrow or another day. I do have a friend in the greenslopes having the sleeve done tomorrow, so bonus is I'll be right there I can visit her! Was going to send her flowers, now I can deliver them!! Silver lining and all that!

Sunday love...

I stole this idea, or her suggestion, from Liz, over at This that and everything else. This is the first time I have worked out how to link a blog!!! Whoot go me!!!

I have a love for coffee. Today it took 3 yes 3 coffee's for the coffee shop I was at to get my coffee in the right sized cup, and then they forgot the 2nd shot. I hate nothing more than paying for crappy coffee. Luckily the company was good!!

I also love markets, which I wandered around today. I wish I had spent more time wandering around, and oen day I will buy one of the skirts I keep eyeing off everytime I go there :P

Time for an update!

After my last post things started to turn a little weird for me. I have been having erratic thoughts, heart palpatations, racing pulse, shaking hands and a few other things. I went to the dr to see if they had any answers for me. They did a pregnancy test. Negative. They did discover a UTI, that I had no indication of. Then they took blood. After 3 attempts of getting back to the dr to get the results the dr (who is fantastic and I think will become my regular dr!)sists me down and says.
Has your heart been racing?
You shaking?
Trouble sleeping?
Head all over the place?
Feel like you are always buzzing?
I was like, Um YES to all of those things!
Turns out I have an overactive thyroid. That also might explain why I have been having trouble keeping weight on.

I am a little ashamed to admit that I am a little worried about them getting it under control. What if they get it under control and I start to gain weight? I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. I am so happy with where I am right now, weight wise.

I was ready to tell my husband that I needed to get away for a few days on my own. The morning before I got the results I was feeling like everything was suffocating me. I thought I was going crazy.

So I have no real idea what the plan of attack is. I have an ultrasound on Tuesday to see what needs to happen from here. But after reading some dr google it does all make sense!

I fear I am becoming one of those people.....

that just leech. I am in a funk. I have no idea how to get out of it. It seems that everything is up, then plunk. I smack back into the earth at full place. I have been neglecting friends when I need them the most. But I have a wonderful bunch of girlfriends (and boyfriends :) ) who are always happy to listen to my whinging, but I fear that one day they'll just give up on me. I wouldn't blame them if they did. My highs can be so great, but my lows leave me feeling really flat. Most of the people who I know personally, know what my life entails, so I won't go into it, but my god, is this what its all about? Is my life determined to always be like this? I hope not. With all that I am, I hope not. But I lack the strength that I need to fix it. I guess I am too lazy to follow through. This week at work we are looking after a lady who I am sure who happily be enjoying her family right now, and I feel so ungrateful. This lady has me questioning my own mortality. On my death bed I don't want to look back with regrets. I want to look back and say I gave it my best shot. If that was to happen tomorrow I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to do that.
I thought that losing weight would be the end to all my problems. The only thing different is my clothes are a size 8-10. Nothing else has changed. I have plenty more energy, but not the will to do anything.

2 year anniversary.......

Well tomorrow it will be 2 years since I took the plunge and did something entirley selfish, and did something for no one but me.

This time 2 years ago, I bet I was starving! I bet all I could think about was food! I bet that I was nervous as hell. Who wouldn't be? Who in their right mind, would ask a surgeon to remove the majority of their stomach to assist them with weightloss.
Well opinions I have encountered since the surgery say that its only the fat people who are too lazy to get off their arse and do something about it themselves that would resort to something so drastic.

Not true. Prior to having my op, I had spent thousands on diets. Shakes, Pills, measured meals, drinking apple cider vinegar. God, I tried everything. And every time I failed. I'd lose ten kilos, then I would gain 15. Then summer would roll around and I'd have made it to another summer, yet again too disgusted with myself to get out and enjoy it.

I had to do something drastic. All the normal methods hadn't worked for me. And weren't doing wonders for my self esteem.

So I did it. My family suffered. I suffered. Its caused arguments, tears, hospital admissions, worries about mental stability, but mostly its provided me with freedom. The freedom to shop wherever I want to. The freedom to wear shorts and not feel embarrassed. The freedom to strutt (and trust me, I do strutt).

I want to say thank you to everyone who's been on this ride with me all along, and those who have joined in along the way. I am so proud to have been an example and an inspiration to people who have gone on to be sleeved after reading my blog and sharing my story.

On sunday we leave on a South Pacific Cruise, 2 years ago we also went on one. That is the cruise that made me realise it was time to get drastic. The photos from that cruise had me in tears. The photos from this cruise will have me proudly smiling and most likely showing off my tummy!!

Live like we're dying.......because we are.......

Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up

We're hiding behind skin that's too tough

How come we don't say I love you enough

Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come

And we could make a feast from these crumbs

And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun

So if your life flashed before you,

What would you wish you would've done

Yeah, we gotta start

Looking at the hands of the time we've been given

If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking

If every second counts on a clock that's ticking

Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies

Who would you call with your last goodbye

Should be so careful who we live out our lives

So when we long for absolution,

There'll no one on the line,

yeah Yeah,

we gotta start Looking at the hands of the time we've been given

If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking

If every second counts on a clock that's ticking

Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying.

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing till it's gone

You never see a crash till it's head on

Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong

You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah, we gotta start

Looking at the hands of the time we've been given

If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking

If every second counts on a clock that's ticking

Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to

Turn it all around or to throw it all away

We gotta tell them that we love them

While we got the chance to say

Gotta live like we're dying..

Do yourself a favour.....listen to it....its by Kris Allen.....lovely song.....and so true.

I am an awesome blogger......

when I lay down at night. But then when I go to actually 'write' in my blog, it all slides away. What I want to say sounds so awesome in my head at 11pm at night, then in the morning, not so much! I did consider getting up to write everything down, then I decided that my body actually deserved some sleep!

Last night I went to bed on a massive high. I had been on the forum where I have got all of my support from over the last 2 years. I had a great chat with other sleevers and a couple of people said they had been reading my blog, or had seen my you tube video, and that they found me an inspiration.

That's exactly why I put myself out there. I want to be that person that convinces people to do something so drastic to allow them to get their lives back. I am aware that I put a lot of myself out there into the www. I am not a very private person (much to my husbands dismay.) But I am who I am *shrug*.

I am buzzing today. I have no idea why. I could attribute it to the music I have pumping in my headphones. Music go change my mood so easily. I type to the beat, and tap my feet.

Life is good....today! I am so blessed. My job makes me so greatful for what I have.....now if only I could remember what I was going to blog about today.......

OMG.........my arms.....

I have NEVER EVER stayed at a steady weight ever. I currenly steady but a photo taken on the weekend has shocked me. Thats me in the pink on the right. I still have the mental battle that I have always had. I still have that urge to eat stuff I shouldn't. My diet is shocking. I really need to do some exercise and work on my muscle tone. My bum is still painful. I can't sit for a long time without pain, and if a chair isn't padded it can bring tears to my eyes. In my usual form I am having issues putting what I want to say into words. But this photo makes me realise that I really need to work on myself. My arms shocked me.
On the weekend I had a full body massage and it was so weird to feel her making contact with my bones. Usually I would worry about what the massage therapist would think of me. This time I was thinking my god she can feel all my bones. Its gone from one extreme to the other.

OMG....*swoon*

I'd work my arse off to make him proud.......

So we made it through January.....

I had a good feeling about 2011. I have no idea why but I just did. So welcome to February!!

January has seen the rekindling of a friendship...which I am really happy about. It's seen the start of year one for my daughter. A visit from a friend from up north, and the beginings of a wonderful journey for her.

I have something on EVERY weekend in Feb. That NEVER happens. So I'm gonna live it up!!

And I think its finally time that I quit smoking. Since my op, I have had an aversion to the smell of it. I didn't have one for at least 3 months post op, then stupidly took it up again. Everyday I witness people dying from smoking related illness. I know better, I honestly do. But I have no idea why I continue to do it. I don't like the smell nor the taste. I only have one or two a day....I don't smoke at work...that was as a result of trying to prove a point to a colleague about how much time she was spending outside smoking instead of working. So I think that its time I gave it a serious go.

I am finally the size I have always wanted to be....now its time to work on my fitness. We'll see how I go! I'm not very good at keeping promises.....my new years resolution isn't going so well. My intention was to go to bed early and read instead of wasting hours in front of the computer or tv......well lastnight I managed to waster hours in fron tof both...headed to bed at 11.30pm.....and read for 1/2 an hour. So it seems like I am rebelling....against myself :P

*suicide mentioned* I feel such a desperate need to help educate...

but I have no idea where to start. Its become apparent to me that a lot of people don't appreciate the finality of death. Today I was talking to a colleague who works for a different company. They are currently involved with 2 families of young suicide victims. One 13, one 14, one a gunshot wound, one a hanging. That to me is amazing. Amazing that 2 people so young could even contenplate suicide, let alone do it successfully. Its devistating, and it makes me wonder do they do it because they have lost all hope, or because they think "I'll show 'em". Do they not realise that its final. Over. Done. No coming back from it? It breaks my heart that there are children (and adults) out there who are so desperate that they can see no other solution.

I wonder if along with sex education we should be talking about depression, and where to get help, and who to talk to.

Its all well and good for a child who thinks no one cares to have 100's of people turn up to their funeral. Its too late then for people to be sprouting about what a wonderful person they were. Tell the people you love and care about now, how much they mean to you. Don't let them ever feel like they are alone. People need to be told they matter. That you love them. Please if you know someone who is suffering, reach out, tell them you care. Love them, and help them see that they matter to you.

I am so desperate to get out there and educate people, but I have no idea where to start. Life doesn't need to end, it needs to improve, and hopefully we can help people fix whatever it is that makes them feel unimportant.

**disclaimer** I know that for people with mental health issues, this runs much deeper, but more and more I am witnessing people (read: children) who are doing this because they have no friends (or think they have no friends), or they get a note sent home from the teacher and they are terrified of a parents response. Its just so horrific :( And we as a community need to do something about it.

The importance of asking for help........especially for men

This blog just breaks my heart. I have been following Lori's blog for a while. She is awesome. She is funny and her blog is well worth a read.

But.....recently her husband had what I think is a manic episode, and hung himself, he did it in front of her, he survived, and Lori had to make the heartbreaking decision to turn off his life support. The blog now consists of her journey of grief. Its heartbreaking, you can hear her pain in her words. People close to her are telling her that she is too raw on her blog, that she probably shouldn't be blogging about his death and her grief. But I get it. I understand why in this day and age, she feels the need to blog. Blogging is thereputic for a lot of people, and a lot of Lori's friends are from her blog followers list.

Lori is trying to get the message out there (Particularly to men) about the importance of opening up. In her eulogy to Tony she emplored the men at the service to speak up if something was bothering them. I hope that this entry can encourage you to ask your men (or if you are one) to speak up.

Life is about living, not struggling to survive. If someone you know needs help with depression please get them to contact Beyond Blue .

Share the love

A friend had a great idea about a share the love blog. If you want to get in on the action, click the above link!

As summer holidays come to an end......

My baby is starting grade 1 on Monday. I miss having a baby, but as much as I say I'd love another one, I am really loving her at 6. She is just so much fun. This week daddy has been on holidays and off his own bat he has spent the entire week with her. It's been lovely for them to spend som quality one on one time together. I feel such a buzz knowing that he had the opportunity to send her to vacation care, but he opted to spend time with her.

This week I had the pleasure of spending some time with a friend I made on the Internet. We have met on two other occasions, one being when she flew down to surprise me at a coffee meet. She flew down with her baby just to see me. What an awesome chick...anyway I digress....this week she flew down to have the gastric sleeve done. She was booked to be done in cairns, but wasn't happy with her surgeon, so decided to come down to mine. I picked her up at the airport, and took her to some appointments to get ready for surgery the next day. The poor bugger was so nervous, but it made my heart sing when she told me that she felt at ease with my surgeon. I was nervous for her, I kinda felt a little bit of responsibility for her well being while she was here and so far from her loved ones. But I am so very please to report that her op went well, and she heads off home tomorrow to recover in the comfort of her own home. I know ghat this will be life changingnfor her and I am so proud of her making the decision to change her life and her sons life. Its onwards and upwards for her from here. Bring on a safe and gentle journey for her. I love her lots and lots xo who would have ever thought that the internet could be responsible for such a beautiful friendship!

The devastation....

It's so hard to put into words the devastation that Qld has experienced this month.
Its been such an emotional time, and for someone who hasn't been affected personally , I can't even begin to comprehend what it'd be like to be there in the front line. I am finding the coverage difficult to watch. Not because I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist, but because I can't get out there and help. Due to the nature of our business I know that we will be needed eventually, and its terrible knowing that there is so many people out there unaccounted for. The absolute panic people must be in. There are parents who can't locate children, children who can't locate parents. Its just to incomprehensible. I hope that the community can come together and ease the suffering of those in need.....even if its just a tiny bit.

Stylish blogger award!!

I got a blog award from Megan over at Living a truly blessed life! Thank you Megan!! To recieve this award I have to:

* Thank and link back to the person who gave me this award.
* Share 7 things about myself.
* Pay it forward to 15 recently discovered great bloggers.
* Contact those bloggers and tell them about the award.

7 things about me:

1. I love to wander the shops. Not to spend money just to wander.
2. I am a people watcher. Could do it all day!
3. I over dramatise things.....just ask my dad!!
4. I'm a lover...in my head.....everything is so romantic up here!!
5. I watch too much TV and should read more
6. I am skinny. Never ever thought I'd be able to say that
7. I love being a mummy. Its the best job in the world.


http://lifeincatspyjamas.blogspot.com
http://somethingiloveis.blogspot.com/
http://random-pondering.blogspot.com/
http://inlucyswords.blogspot.com/
http://amybloggingaboutbub.blogspot.com/
http://www.beadingmumma.blogspot.com/
http://sofrenchy-sochic.blogspot.com/
http://undomesticmumma.blogspot.com/
http://swisali.blogspot.com/
http://www.themisadventuresofabuffbride.blogspot.com/
http://paparazzibride.blogspot.com/
http://thisthatandeverythingelse.wordpress.com/
http://livinglusciouslea.blogspot.com/
http://www.tlhtc.blogspot.com/

http://feistykel.blogspot.com




Oh My Freaking God this has been much harder than it looks, and I couldn't get the links to work properly with blog names instead of addresses!!

An update on my princess....

Well its all done, and she's sleeping it off at home with Daddy. They took out one tooth, capped another one, filled a couple, and put a space saver where they took the tooth out. She has one disolvable stitch. I am glad she's sleeping cause they gave her a local and she didn't like the feeling of her face being numb, so hopefully when she wakes up that will have worn off. I just hope the recovery is nice and smooth for her. She wouldn't just put the mask on so thye had to give her a sedative, so I dare say thats hy she's taking so long to wake up, rather than the general knocking her around. Poor monkey. I hate seeing her like that. About 20 minutes after she had the sedative (which took some convincing to get her to take) her eyes were rolling back in her head and she was floppy. We (I!) still had to hold her down for them to be able to get the mask on her God I feel like I've been through the wringer today Not as bad as she'll feel when she wakes up though

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Hey and happy new year to you all!
Its 5am and I am up at stupid o'clock for a good reason. My baby girl is having her teeth done today under GA, the dentist has no idea what needs doing, because she refused to even get up in the chair for an examination. All the dentist knows is that my darling is waking with a tooth ache. She can't eat after 5am, and her appointment is at 11am, so we got up at 4.30 to feed her!

I have taken her to the dentist 3 times, in the hope to encourage good healthy dental habits. The first dentist hurt her, the 2nd dentist got so far as having a tooth ready for filling, and she refused to let them do anymore, and the 3rd the other day when we organised for today. Its an extreme way to deal with it, but hopefully today's visit is positive. One thing I have promised is that she'll never have to go and see the pediatric dentist again, or at least this one. How she ever got into pediatric dental work amazes me! She told S that she HAD to get into the chair, and if she didn't she'd send mummy away! Reassuring to a six year old? No? No I didn't think so either!

I have found S's currency. The day we went to the dentist I booked her into dancing through school. She has wanted to do it for ages, so I told her that I would organise for dancing if she was brave at the dentist. Ah... blackmail at its finest!!

She's actually being much braver than I expected. I hope it doesn't all fall apart at the seams when we get there!
She is expecting a mask with 'giggle gas' in it. She's been telling everyone her latest joke, what goes ha ha ha *snore*? Sarah.....on giggle gas!

So fingers crossed for a successful appointment today!!

Onto other things!

So my first skinny healthy New Years has come and gone, and for a night spent at home I had a lot of fun! My husband bought me 3 little bottles of champagne. I said to him, why did you buy 3???? Theres no way I'll ever get through 3!! Well turns out we were 50/50. I did manage 2. The funny thing with this sleeve is that alcohol leaves me legless very very quickly, but I sober up very very quickly too. So the first bottle left me being stupid, the 2nd bottle said go to bed or you'll pay for it tomorrow. So I went to bed, woke up hangover free and ready to get out and enjoy life in 2011. I told my husband that 2011 is our year. Our year to really work on US, as a couple and a family!! My year was 2009-2010 and I took up a lot of time for my recovery and they stood by me through the lenghty process it was. So far so good!!

Bring it on.....and happy new year!