Sunday, October 10, 2010

Something to do.....

I find myself falling asleep during the day, but unable to sleep at night. I get heaps done! Tonight I have done a weeks ironing, cleaned the kitchen, done a load of washing, on to my 2nd one. I have made 2 lots of cookies and have a frozen batch in the freezer! I am about to get up and hang out the 2nd load, and make lunches for tomorrow. Hopefully then I'll manage to get some sleep!

Anyway whilst filling in time waiting for the washing I found these poems that I love and have on my computer. So thought I'd post them here so I dont lose them!

I don’t want you to protect me when you feel like it..
I don’t want you to love me when things are happy and perfect…
I don’t want you to be there for me and look after me when I ask for it..

Protect me, even when we’re fighting…
Love me, even when we’re falling apart…
Be there for me, even when I say I don’t need you…

That’s what love is… that’s what I need..

My oath to you…..
When you are sad…… I will dry your tears
When you are scared…I will comfort your fears
When you are worried…I will give you hope
When you are confused…I will help you cope
And when you are lost, and can’t see the light
I shall be your beacon, shining ever so bright
This is my oath, I pledge to the end.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Oh.My.God. The gluttens!

I have no idea if I spelt that correctly or not, but tonight has been an eye opener. I have just gotten home from dinner at Sizzler. We had a friend down from Mackay so our entire family + extras met her and her daughters at Sizzler for dinner. I can't believe that sizzler still have such a huge following! The que was out the door and around the corner!
People are just amazing. There is no time limit, yet everyone stumbles over each other to fill up their plates. At the desert bar there was a woman telling her friend to load up 2 plates so they didn't have to come back between plate loads, meanwhile others are waiting for the plates to be replenished. There was a table of kids near us, they were stuffing themselves like they'd never eaten before!

I was so embarrassed for people!

Truth be told, if I hadn't had my surgery, I would have been them. Thank god for my sleeve.

In other news......

there is something going on with my body. I am having panic attack type things where I feel like I need to eat and I need to eat right now. I used to get this pre sleeve, but just in the last few weeks its been getting worse. I am trying to increase my intake to stop the hunger panic happening. But I don't get hungry, so I can't judge my need to eat, I really only eat because I have to. I eat junk, and its my downfall. I think I might be needing to get my blood sugar level checked. I don't know if its because I am going slightly glyco or something, but it makes me feel terrible. I get the shakes, and hot spots on my arms, my face goes numb and I feel panicky. Its weird. So I will head off to the dr to get checked out. As I said above we just got back from sizzler and I felt like that. I had just eaten more than I usually do and I felt this weird feeling coming over me, like I had to eat. So I've had a coffee and a fruit filled bar and I'm off to bed to see if I wake up feeling better tomorrow!
Good night all!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Life is good.....

You know I really am so blessed. Yeah I have my issues, but who doesn't. I have a nice home, I make a comfortable living, I have the most precious little girl, who I am just loving to bits, even A is being a good boy!

My darling turned 6 on the 30th of September, and I made the cake that I had posted about previously. It was the first cake I've ever made her that I haven't been embarrassed to show others!
So here it is:

Not too bad if I do say so myself! :P And I do!

So in other news, since I blogged last, the little princess has had a dose of the chicken pox, lost a tooth, had school holidays, and now started her last term of Prep. My sister has resigned from the family company. Its left me feeling all kinds of weird. For starters, its going to be strange not to work with her.I love spending time with her, and work time is a bonus.....sometimes :P It's nice to walk away on holiday and know that someone I can trust to do my job properly is doing it. Its also brought up feelings of jealousy!! Even though I love my job, I would love soemthing that is nowhere near as responsible. I am dealing with a lot of responsibilty on a daily basis, I take my work home with me, in my head, my heart, and my computer! I can't let it go, I can't turn off, and for no reason whatsoever I get tummy drop. Bec will know what I am talking about. I have been here for 16 years in December, and I love being able to help people at the most difficult time in their lives and for them to tell me that I have eased their burden. That is why I love my job. But its a sensetive business, and I have to be empathetic at all times. Yeah I can joke with people after building up a rapor, but sometimes it'd be nice to go home at the end of a shift and my biggest responsiblity would be if the till balanced or not! Maybe I just need a holiday? I have one booked for April 2011, so I guess I can hang out till then!

I had a support group meeting on Sat for my surgeons paitents. It was really good. It was about the emotions that we deal with after weightloss. It was really quite interesting to hear others who are dealing with the exact same issues I have. There is a girl who was sleeved by my surgeon, who has also had problems not falling below a healthy weight. So its great to talk to her. Its such a great group, and I must get my butt into gear and organise a get together for us all.

Anyway I best not go on, I have all this stuff in my head to get down, so I may blog again today.......but probably not! :P
Have a nice day!