11 days post op!

Ok so my weight has stayed fairly static. 9kg loss and no more. I wondered if maybe I am putting myself into starvation mode? So today I am making an effort to up my food intake. I have also bought some liquid vitamins and some protein powder, so that I can up both of those things. I have found out that protein assists with healing so I will pop that on any food I can to up it.

I have had issues with reflux, seems thankfully that the medication the dr gave me is working! Woo Hoo, I pity those that suffer from reflux or heartburn. Its terrible!

I have started to use bio-oil on my scars, spoke to the lady at the health food shop, she said it was ok to put them on as long as they had sealed. So I have started that today.

I am still feeling hungry, I am not sure if its just growling or actual hunger. Thats why I decided to up my food intake to see if I can remedy that.

My water intake isn't as good as it should be but I am working on that, I suppose I should start to exercise soon too.

8 days post op

Ok won't be as lazy as I was last post, I will write this instead of copy and pasting!!

Surgery wise things are going good. I have one particular incision that is causing me a bit of pain, so I took the bandages off and had a look and it looked terrible! So on the way home from work yesterday I bought some more steri-strips. Got home jumped straight into the shower thinking that the water would loosen the ones that weren't already falling off, wrong. So I started to peel them off and I split the scar on my belly button **Cry** Ouch, made me feel sick, and due to the dynamics at home at the moment, I had to do it on my own. So I did it, and then had to sit down because I felt exhausted. I have a really sore back at the moment too.

I am feeling a bit down today, could be whats going on at home (or whats not more to the point), or the fact that I get to work and my brother has blocked my husbands emails from coming through. With what is going on at home at the moment, that's all I need, for him to think I have blocked him. And more to the point WTF does he think even touching my email. I am 100%certain he gets personal emails on his work email, apart from the fact that he has organised building his new house during work for the last 8 or so months. Hypocrite. Makes me so angry.

Anyway that was a depressing blog! My day can only get better from here, surely?

I am 5 days post surgery

I am going to copy and paste some stuff in here cause my head still doesnt feel 100%!!
21.4.2009
Hi guys, just checking in from my hospital bed! Feeling pretty sore and sorry for my self. I think I have been having reflux, which is what is making me the most uncomfortable. Haven't hS nything except water yet. Got mum to ring my Sarah and hold her off coming to visit till tonight, I was so out of it yesterday afternon.
Feeling heaps better todaya than yesterday, I love IV pain killers they rock.

And Jus, they took the paper undies when they gave me a sponge bath lastnight. They took any dignity I had too!

They gave me the option of going home today, but I will take advantage of having a choice and stay one more night.

Anyway just thought I'd say hi!!
_____________________________________

22.4.2009
Ok so today I am having a wtf have I done to myself day!! I feel really terrible. Can't get any sleep but i have to go home today because A has to go back to work tomorrow and I need to take Sarah to day care

I have only had about 300ml of water since monday morning, I am dying to gulp down a glass of water. I can't even stomach any mylanta. The have been giving me nexim injections for the reflux.

I will really try to eat some breakfast today, because I wonder if its also 'hunger'making me feel this bad.

____________________________________

22.4.2009
Thank you all so much for your support. I must admit I might have underestimated the recovery. Bec has just been in to pick up Sarah, she is having a sleep over. I can't tell you how much my families support has meant to me, my brother even came and vistied yesterday and Mum was there when I woke up from the Op. Bec's been holding the office togethere and A has been great. Even following him getting 2 teeth pulled yesterday. We are like some silly head sore couple at the moment. I will get there, I have to I have no choice, this is not reversable, nor do I want it to be. Just getting through the next coouple of days is my first goal. The sleeve site I am on generally say you are back to normal about 1 week after surgery, 5 days to go.

Thank you all again x
______________________________________________

23/4/2009
Thanks girls, well after a good nights sleep I feel a lot better. I doubt that I would have been comfortable taking Sarah to daycare today, so I am so greatful that Bec took her for me.

Kirsty - You are right,I do need to drink more, I should be sipping to stave off dehydration. So I will start shortly.

I had a sustagen for breakfast, about 20ml! I can't believe that I could down that before without even thinking of it, now this one will last me 3 days!!

I have some good bruises on my legs from where they gave me my injections, took some photos of the damage whilst having a shower this morning.

I had to get off my arse and have a shower. I have a friend coming over She has had a lap band and she is off work sick, so thought she'd come and see me. She better not make me sick!

Anyway thats where I am at, thank you all for your thoughts. I am back to my surgery weight today, so tomorrow should show a loss!!!
_____________________________________________
23.4.2009
Thanks again girls. Better to be safe than sorry. I can't believe that I am surviving on 1 ice block, 20mls of sustagen, and I am about to give some soup a go!

I should be drinking more water, but the gurgle is so weird. I don't get hunger pains but I do get the gurgle associated with hunger. So very strange!
___________________________________________________

24.4.2009
Oh My God! Weighed in this morning I am down to 102kg!!!! Holy Hell!!

And I managed some porridge this morning!! Yay!!!

Yeah the bruises are from the anti blood clot injections, and they also gave me some anti nausea ones there too. They were actually painless to go in.

Re the up and go, I have only had sustagen so far, and that has lasted me 2 days, and hardly feels like I've even opened it. I have been a bit more experimental with volume today, so hopefully I will get through a popper soon! I have had some vitamin water, porridge and chicken soup. Have a bit of reflux, which is freaking horrible! I went out and about a bit today, I'm a bit slow, but getting there!

Had my dressings changed this morning, and the nurse said they are looking good. I don't have stiches just the steri strips.

----------------------------------------

And thats where I am at the moment, its been slow, but will be well worth it!!

1 more sleep

I can't believe the time is finally here. I have lost 4.4kg since I started Optislim, which was 9 days ago. And I was thinking to myself that I could do this on my own, but I know I couldn't. Because without a person to be accountable to, I would eat something once that I shouldn't then continue to do the same until gradually the shakes and water are well and truley forgotten about. I am so excited & nervous about tomorrow!!! I can't believe that I am spending $7000+ on me, but I know at the end of the day it will be well and truley worth it!!

I am below my goal of 40kg to lose. I need to lose 38.4 to get to my goal weight!! I wonder how long it will take! I can't wait to have photos taken this christmas to compare to the last few years. 2 years ago I saw the photos from Christmas lunch and I cried. I can't believe that I let myself get so big. I can't even comprehend that there is the risk of becoming underweight!! I would have never ever thought that was even possible!!

I might not get on now till after my surgery, so next time I blog I will be 2/3 of a stomach down....hmm I wonder how much that weighs.... LMAO!!!

2 sleeps to go

Faced a pretty big test today. I went to a birthday party for my neice Olivia who has just turned 3. OMG, lolly bananas, cake, savaloys, crackers and dip, coke.... and I had a salad and a bottle of water! And I didnt feel deprived. I felt glad, because this morning I hit 104kg on the scales. Thats a loss of 3.8kg since friday week ago, so 8 days!!! I can't believe it! I feel so good.

I'm getting a bit nervous about the op now, its major surgery, who wouldn't. But I know that this is my life we are working on, I want to enjoy it.
My top reasons to lose weight in no particular order:

• To buy clothes from whatever shop I want
• To buy something because I like it, not because I like it the best out of what fits me.
• To go for a walk and enjoy it, not dread it
• To finally eat to live, not live to eat
• Bit of energy in bed wouldn't go astray either ;) (Sorry Mum)
• I don't want to be fat, and uncomfortable any more

I set my first mini goal at 100kg. But since that is only 4kg away, lets make it 95kg. Bring it on, I am so ready for this!!

5 sleeps to go!

Well another couple of days down and a couple of days closer. I had my booking in appointment at the hosptial this morning. They got me to fill in some forms gave me an EKG and some soap and told me to be there at 7am on Monday.

Sarah is looking forward to sleeping over at Pam's house on Sunday night. And the nurse told me today that I would only be in one night, so I might be home on Tuesday. Which she'll be happy about!

I am a bit apprehensive about only being in for one night. The pros to staying a couple more is that I get the IV pain killers and only have to lay there. At home I won't be able to help myself I will keep getting up to do stuff! And in hospital your "meals" are provided and I don't have to cook them!! I will request another night if I feel like I need it. I worry about there being a leak, and if I am in hospital they will catch that!

I haven't had anymore weightloss which is weird but its TTOM so hopefully I will get a nice surprise in a day or two. I am feeling good, really good. I haven't cheated and eaten anything I shouldn't have, except a small bake at home roll 3 days ago. And I didn't really need that, just did it because thats what I do and thats my problem!!

We have been flat out at work so I haven't really had a chance to think about being on a diet much, which is usually what I do, and I think about what I am missing out on!

So I am happy, and approaching this with excitement, I can't believe that this time in 12 or even 6 months I will look differently!!

Off to have a nicely warmed optifast, actually enjoying them now!

Day 4 - 6 to go!!

Well I am really struggling here today :(
Last night we went to the local RSL for dinner, I had vegies and the others had steak or fish and chips and pavlova for desert. I was so tempted to eat a chip or some fish, but I didn't and the will power it took made me feel like crying. :oops: I even picked up a chip to feel if it was crunchy :shock: After Bec and Jase and the kids had gone I told A how difficult that was, and he actually said, I am proud of you! I can't believe how deep my issues with food are if I nearly cry when I am forced to use my will power.
I am feeling water logged and I've only drunk about 1 litre, still another one to go!
I am feeling pretty happy with myself that I have stuck to this so well. I didn't have a taste of chocolate yesterday, was [i]hardly[/i] tempted Sarah got so much choc, and I know she'll forget about it and it will go in the cupboard to be thrown out before next easter Or added to the school raffel basket
I am down 2.4kg today, which is pretty amazing for 3 days!
This time next week I will be sleeved!!!

3rd day into pre-op

Well I am 3 days into my 10 day pre op and I have lost 2kg already!!! Must drink more water today!! I am at work so I thought it would be harder but we are busy and I am just about to have my first shake of the day.

I can't believe that I am 2kg down already!

Eight days to go!

Well its the end of day 2 on the shakes. And I dont think I have done too badly. It hought it would be harder being at home for the two days, but bother afternoons when I start to get hungry, I slept, so that filled in some time! :P I do have headaches too, they can be avoided by drinking more water which I havent done much of today!

I haven't really struggled as badly as I thought. I hope the fact that work is busy at the moment will help me fill the next 2 days in the office on my own! At least there is nothing to snack on there!
I did have a loss of 500g this morning, so hopefully will lose a couple of KG in the next 8 or so days.

I went shopping to get some of the meal replacement bars today, they want $20 for 6. I don't thinks so.

Bought myself some new grannie jammies for hospital today, I don't know how long I'll need them for,I guess the first day I will be in a hosptial gown, but I wanted something nice to wear afterwards.

A is asleep ATM so I just had to make a peanut butter sandwich for Sarah on fresh white bread!! Oh the temptation!!

So anyway day 2 mostly down, only 8 to go!!!

Last day of solid food - pre op!!

I met my dietitian last night. He is good, and he has put my mind at rest and given me a diet plan for pre and post op, which is helpful and will help me be more organised. That was one of the things I was dreading. When I don't eat, I panic and reach for a quick fix, so I will be super organised, and never feel like this isn't being done for a reason, I hope. He showed me a glass of what my stomach capasity will be like, its going to be 200ml. Says that I will struggle to drink half a diet shake. I can't even comprehend that!! Told me to start using little cups and plates. And to stop drinking 10 minutes prior to meals and 30 minutes after. Which will be hard, because I normally get through a glass of something while I eat!
So today is the last day that I will ever be able to eat normally (as I know it now) I will be sleeved in 11 days!! OMG!!
Yesterday Sarah climbed up on my lap and said to me, do you know why I like cuddling you mummy? And I said why? She said cause you're all soft! Well not for much longer!!
Lastnight when I put her to bed, she was talking about me going to hopsital, because we were told one night, but research tells me 2 or 3, so I was preparing her for the fact it will be longer than one night. She started to cry, so I told her that when I get home and start to feel better I will be happy to take her to the park for a ride, and I'll buy a bike so we can go riding together. She was so excited, and to tell you the truth, so am I!

2 days to go!!

2 days to go until I start on my 10 days of optifast. Funnily enough I am not dreading it. More like the fact that its just the start of my journey.

I have an appointment tonight with the dietitian, so hopefully he will give me some ideas on how to eat my vegi's for the next 10 days.

I want to be prepared and make sure that I don't have any excuse to slip. I want to do this right.

One of the guys at work has been telling me to go and make a pig of myself on Thursday night for dinner because its the last time I will be able to eat like that, but I don't want to. I need to shift my thinking about food to make this work.

I need to eat to live, not live to eat!

A great LOL cat!

Deposit paid!

Well I have just paid the $5000 deposit.
I have had a lot of operations (3 or 4) in my life, but I have never ever had to pay for them!!
I am actually looking forward to starting opitfast on Friday. 10 days of shakes for every meal, and 2 cups of vegies a day. I am going to start making some stirfry vegies in bulk for lunches and dinners, and I'd also like to make some soups for the first few days home after surgery.
I see the dietian on Wednesday. I am also looking forward to seeing him, apart from the fact that he sounds hot :signmuahaha: I am looking forward to some assistance on how to adapt to my new smaller tummy!
Its hard to explain to a four year old why mummy is going to hospital. This morning she said she will miss me, and she doesn't want me to go, and I tried in the best way possible to explain to her that this surgery will help me to be able to enjoy the future with her, to help me get fit enough to take her to the park willingly, and run along beside her when she rides her bike.

I have done a little bit of preop prep. Like buying soluble painkillers, de gas, to remove the gas they pump you up with, must get the suitcase out so I can add things as I think of them! Must put some music on my new ipod so I can take that with me too!

I am having a what the hell am I doing moment!

This is all moving so fast for me. I have been looking into banding for about 18 months. And when I went to see my surgeon he talked down banding and advised the sleeve. So that was on Monday the 30th of March. I am now booked for a sleeve on 20th April. Its all moving so quickly for me!! I keep questioning if this is the right thing for me. Am I taking the 'easy' way out. Removing part of my stomach terrifies me. Being non-reversable terrifies me, but is great because then I can't go back.
My surgeon hasn't organised councelling, which I thought they would.
I am baseing most of my journey on what I have witnessed with my banded friend, and its all being done fairly differently.
I have to organise care for my daughter while I am in hospital, I need to stock up on optifast, I need to get new Jammies, I need to get some de-gas. What else??? I have appointments with the nutritionist, pre op, I've had blood tests, wow what a huge 20 days this has turned out to be!