Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Britt made me do it!

I have been shamed into posting. Britt mentioned me on her blog this morning so I thought I'd better get my arse into gear and actually blog.

I guess I don't blog anymore about my journey because I am pretty much at the end of my sleeve journey. I am at a weight that I am happy with. I do look a bit too skinny, but I'm ok with that.

I guess from now on I will use this blog as a reflection on my day to day comings and goings.....if I remember. I have all these romantic notions of having a lovely blog, but I lack the imaginiation and time it takes to keep my blog interesting and pretty.

I am having a shite day. I want to go home to bed, but I have a meeting tonight at 7pm. So I am going to work till about 6.15 then head off. If I go home the little princess won't let me leave, so its easier to stay here. I also have my grandfathers funeral to attend tomorrow morning, so I need to leave things in order...

I should let you know a little about Dar. Dar was our pet name for Grandad and even in my early 30's its still what I called him. Dar has been in a nursing home for a few years. He was just about to turn 91 in a couple of days. He had his good days, his great days and his, damn you I am not getting out of bed days. I hated to go visit because I would wonder what sort of day he was having. I have been very lucky and mostly saw him on his great days! Last time the little princess and I went to visit, he was sitting in his chair in the front room of the nursing home, eating his lunch. He smiled when I told him that Nana would be happy with him eating his lunch. We had cuddles and off we went, I found it difficult to spend too much time there because sometimes he didn't even know who we were. Apparently after we visited he told Nana that a beautiful little girl had been in to visit him.
On Sunday mum called from the hospital saying he wasn't doing very well He'd been taken in by ambulance and the nurses were warning that this might be it this time (as they had done every other time he'd been admitted) Bec (my sister) called me to see if I would like to go down with her to visit him, we just had a feeling. So we told the kids we were going out, she popped in to grab me and off we went. The trip there and back was spent talking of the old days, when Dar was the Dar we knew. Laughing about the man who used to chase us down the hallway with his slipper, and the gentle giant who would let us snuggle in his lap to play with his shirt collars. He always smelt like whiskey and tobacco when we were kids. He religiously had a whiskey in the afternoons to relax.
When we got there (7pm ish) we rang mum to find out where she was, she had taken Nana home. So Bec and I went in to visit. God, I wish I could remove the image from my mind. The strong man we knew was a shell. Over the years his body had slowly gotten smaller, no big round tummy that made him look 9 months pregnant! He had a nebulizer on and was really struggling to breath, but he knew we were there. He looked at us, we stroked his hand and gave him kisses on his head. We told him that we loved him, and we left. At 10.30 we had the phone call. Our brother had gone down to visit and was with him when he took his final breath. He said it was lovely, like he'd just fallen asleep. Its almost a relief, to struggle for breath is cruel, his body had served him well, and he had given us many many lovely memories and a wonderful family.

Rest in peace Dar, you're one in a million.


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