Had my ultrasound today.....

Ok so today I had my ultrasound. Took all of 2 minutes. Went to the dr for the results. I have nodules on my thyroid. There is at least 3. I am sure she said one was 5cm. But maybe she said 5mm. She has referred me to a specialist. She mentioned the C word, and then I didn't hear much else. I got in to the specialist tomorrow at 3pm, so mum is coming with me. They might do a biopsy, but I am not sure if they do that tomorrow or another day. I do have a friend in the greenslopes having the sleeve done tomorrow, so bonus is I'll be right there I can visit her! Was going to send her flowers, now I can deliver them!! Silver lining and all that!

Sunday love...

I stole this idea, or her suggestion, from Liz, over at This that and everything else. This is the first time I have worked out how to link a blog!!! Whoot go me!!!

I have a love for coffee. Today it took 3 yes 3 coffee's for the coffee shop I was at to get my coffee in the right sized cup, and then they forgot the 2nd shot. I hate nothing more than paying for crappy coffee. Luckily the company was good!!

I also love markets, which I wandered around today. I wish I had spent more time wandering around, and oen day I will buy one of the skirts I keep eyeing off everytime I go there :P

Time for an update!

After my last post things started to turn a little weird for me. I have been having erratic thoughts, heart palpatations, racing pulse, shaking hands and a few other things. I went to the dr to see if they had any answers for me. They did a pregnancy test. Negative. They did discover a UTI, that I had no indication of. Then they took blood. After 3 attempts of getting back to the dr to get the results the dr (who is fantastic and I think will become my regular dr!)sists me down and says.
Has your heart been racing?
You shaking?
Trouble sleeping?
Head all over the place?
Feel like you are always buzzing?
I was like, Um YES to all of those things!
Turns out I have an overactive thyroid. That also might explain why I have been having trouble keeping weight on.

I am a little ashamed to admit that I am a little worried about them getting it under control. What if they get it under control and I start to gain weight? I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. I am so happy with where I am right now, weight wise.

I was ready to tell my husband that I needed to get away for a few days on my own. The morning before I got the results I was feeling like everything was suffocating me. I thought I was going crazy.

So I have no real idea what the plan of attack is. I have an ultrasound on Tuesday to see what needs to happen from here. But after reading some dr google it does all make sense!

I fear I am becoming one of those people.....

that just leech. I am in a funk. I have no idea how to get out of it. It seems that everything is up, then plunk. I smack back into the earth at full place. I have been neglecting friends when I need them the most. But I have a wonderful bunch of girlfriends (and boyfriends :) ) who are always happy to listen to my whinging, but I fear that one day they'll just give up on me. I wouldn't blame them if they did. My highs can be so great, but my lows leave me feeling really flat. Most of the people who I know personally, know what my life entails, so I won't go into it, but my god, is this what its all about? Is my life determined to always be like this? I hope not. With all that I am, I hope not. But I lack the strength that I need to fix it. I guess I am too lazy to follow through. This week at work we are looking after a lady who I am sure who happily be enjoying her family right now, and I feel so ungrateful. This lady has me questioning my own mortality. On my death bed I don't want to look back with regrets. I want to look back and say I gave it my best shot. If that was to happen tomorrow I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to do that.
I thought that losing weight would be the end to all my problems. The only thing different is my clothes are a size 8-10. Nothing else has changed. I have plenty more energy, but not the will to do anything.