Something to do.....

I find myself falling asleep during the day, but unable to sleep at night. I get heaps done! Tonight I have done a weeks ironing, cleaned the kitchen, done a load of washing, on to my 2nd one. I have made 2 lots of cookies and have a frozen batch in the freezer! I am about to get up and hang out the 2nd load, and make lunches for tomorrow. Hopefully then I'll manage to get some sleep!

Anyway whilst filling in time waiting for the washing I found these poems that I love and have on my computer. So thought I'd post them here so I dont lose them!



I don’t want you to protect me when you feel like it..
I don’t want you to love me when things are happy and perfect…
I don’t want you to be there for me and look after me when I ask for it..
…
Protect me, even when we’re fighting…
Love me, even when we’re falling apart…
Be there for me, even when I say I don’t need you…
…
That’s what love is… that’s what I need..
__________________________________________________________________

My oath to you…..
When you are sad…… I will dry your tears
When you are scared…I will comfort your fears
When you are worried…I will give you hope
When you are confused…I will help you cope
And when you are lost, and can’t see the light
I shall be your beacon, shining ever so bright
This is my oath, I pledge to the end.

Oh.My.God. The gluttens!

I have no idea if I spelt that correctly or not, but tonight has been an eye opener. I have just gotten home from dinner at Sizzler. We had a friend down from Mackay so our entire family + extras met her and her daughters at Sizzler for dinner. I can't believe that sizzler still have such a huge following! The que was out the door and around the corner!
People are just amazing. There is no time limit, yet everyone stumbles over each other to fill up their plates. At the desert bar there was a woman telling her friend to load up 2 plates so they didn't have to come back between plate loads, meanwhile others are waiting for the plates to be replenished. There was a table of kids near us, they were stuffing themselves like they'd never eaten before!

I was so embarrassed for people!


Truth be told, if I hadn't had my surgery, I would have been them. Thank god for my sleeve.

In other news......

there is something going on with my body. I am having panic attack type things where I feel like I need to eat and I need to eat right now. I used to get this pre sleeve, but just in the last few weeks its been getting worse. I am trying to increase my intake to stop the hunger panic happening. But I don't get hungry, so I can't judge my need to eat, I really only eat because I have to. I eat junk, and its my downfall. I think I might be needing to get my blood sugar level checked. I don't know if its because I am going slightly glyco or something, but it makes me feel terrible. I get the shakes, and hot spots on my arms, my face goes numb and I feel panicky. Its weird. So I will head off to the dr to get checked out. As I said above we just got back from sizzler and I felt like that. I had just eaten more than I usually do and I felt this weird feeling coming over me, like I had to eat. So I've had a coffee and a fruit filled bar and I'm off to bed to see if I wake up feeling better tomorrow!
Good night all!

Life is good.....

You know I really am so blessed. Yeah I have my issues, but who doesn't. I have a nice home, I make a comfortable living, I have the most precious little girl, who I am just loving to bits, even A is being a good boy!

My darling turned 6 on the 30th of September, and I made the cake that I had posted about previously. It was the first cake I've ever made her that I haven't been embarrassed to show others!
So here it is:


Not too bad if I do say so myself! :P And I do!

So in other news, since I blogged last, the little princess has had a dose of the chicken pox, lost a tooth, had school holidays, and now started her last term of Prep. My sister has resigned from the family company. Its left me feeling all kinds of weird. For starters, its going to be strange not to work with her.I love spending time with her, and work time is a bonus.....sometimes :P It's nice to walk away on holiday and know that someone I can trust to do my job properly is doing it. Its also brought up feelings of jealousy!! Even though I love my job, I would love soemthing that is nowhere near as responsible. I am dealing with a lot of responsibilty on a daily basis, I take my work home with me, in my head, my heart, and my computer! I can't let it go, I can't turn off, and for no reason whatsoever I get tummy drop. Bec will know what I am talking about. I have been here for 16 years in December, and I love being able to help people at the most difficult time in their lives and for them to tell me that I have eased their burden. That is why I love my job. But its a sensetive business, and I have to be empathetic at all times. Yeah I can joke with people after building up a rapor, but sometimes it'd be nice to go home at the end of a shift and my biggest responsiblity would be if the till balanced or not! Maybe I just need a holiday? I have one booked for April 2011, so I guess I can hang out till then!

I had a support group meeting on Sat for my surgeons paitents. It was really good. It was about the emotions that we deal with after weightloss. It was really quite interesting to hear others who are dealing with the exact same issues I have. There is a girl who was sleeved by my surgeon, who has also had problems not falling below a healthy weight. So its great to talk to her. Its such a great group, and I must get my butt into gear and organise a get together for us all.

Anyway I best not go on, I have all this stuff in my head to get down, so I may blog again today.......but probably not! :P
Have a nice day!

I feel blergh....

I have no idea why. Maybe its because I haven't had a decent coffee for ages, read days. I am so sick of paying for crap coffee. This week, well in 2 days I have spent nearly $30 on crap coffee and I am annoyed. Why can't people make consistant coffee. I only buy it from 3 different places and only one does consistanly good coffee. But they only make it in one size, and quite frankly its too small.

It might also have to do with not having enough sleep, my own fault, really, but I can complain if I want to :P

Anyway thought it was time for a blog, so there it is, theres a lot more to whinge about, but I won't....for once!

Egh...I wanna go back to bed.....but it is improving...albeit slowly!

So my day started with a good point, and a bad point. Alarm goes off, and I hear the thump thump of little feet running up the hallway, and S bounds into the bedroom and jumps up on the bed. She turns the TV on, rolls over, puts her back to me, and demands I cuddle (or cuggle in her baby talk :P ) her. So I snuggle into her, and then realise that I have a THUMPING headache. I jump out of bed and leave her to snuggle while I had a hot shower. Nope didn't work. My sister drops her kids off, the minute she's out the door, we all jump in the car to go via Hungry Jacks on the way to school for breakfast. Its not really on the way, but its new so we have to try it. Order is taken, move forward to pay, didn't check the eftpos machine, just put in my pin number and sat there waiting for her to hand over the food. She (the girl at the window) goes trotting off, and the manager comes back. All apologetic saying we mucked up the transaction, you've been charged for another cars order. It was $3.95. So instead of charging me the difference, she refunds the $3.95, then charges me the $19 for our correct breakfast. While I was waiting for all that to go through, I was thinking of the girl who served me. Obviously she was afraid to tell me she'd screwed up and had to run and get a manager to deal with it. God if that was the biggest problem she had all day, she's gonna have a good day. If only the problems we all deal with on a daily basis are so easily fixed!

Anyway, Dad is here at work today, and it must be spring. He's been runing his eye over my work space, and dying to rearrange everything. So I let him at it. One room is totally rearranged, and I have nice and tidy set of cupboards. Its stuff I have been meaning to do for ages!!

So my day is getting better, the headache is gone, its a lovely temperature, Mum and Dad are having the kids on Saturday night, we go away next weekend for the princess's birthday, and life is good....mostly :P


Oh and FTR, I was recognised out on the weekend! We were at our local show, and someone asked me if I was Lib. She was sitting next to S waiting for a turn on the massive jumping castle thingo. She knows me from a forum I frequent, and has obviously seen my pics online! I have also been a follower of her blog! It's so weird, but so nice at the same time. I wish I had the balls to approach people I recognised!

Finally you tubed my journey.....

This is something I have wanted to do for a long time, but never got around to it. This weekend I sat down and finally got it done. It's not exactly what I wanted, but its better than nothing!

Enjoy...... My journey.....

Here I am again...

I have had the most awesome weekend! I worked on Saturday, got heaps of work done, and finally my in tray is empty! My head feels much clearer now my desk is in order. On Sunday I had to go to Ikea to get something for my friend who doesn't have access to Ikea. So we choofed up there, daddy came and the little princess and he had $3 breakfast, he went to do the grocery shopping, she went to the kids club....and I went wandering. After kids club, we went next door and went through spotlight, then jumped in the car and went to the local "mall". All up we were shopping for 5 hours, had breakfast, cupcakes and lunch out, and topped it all off with a nanny nap! 18 months ago there is no way I could have done a marathon shopping trip like that! This is the freedom of my life now. I can go from one end of a mall and back and it doesn't wear me out like it used to!

The little princess will be little miss 6 in a month or so and this year I am going to attempt the cake. I saw this cake on a forum I visit last week and its awesome and super easy, so this will be the cake!
In true princess style she's decided she wants to stay at a hotel instead of having a party, so I am thinking we might spend what we planned on spending staying at the marriot at Surfers Paradise. She loves to swim and they have a pool that have real fish in it, she'll love it and I'll get a chance to get some sun!

Life is good!