11 days post op!

Ok so my weight has stayed fairly static. 9kg loss and no more. I wondered if maybe I am putting myself into starvation mode? So today I am making an effort to up my food intake. I have also bought some liquid vitamins and some protein powder, so that I can up both of those things. I have found out that protein assists with healing so I will pop that on any food I can to up it.

I have had issues with reflux, seems thankfully that the medication the dr gave me is working! Woo Hoo, I pity those that suffer from reflux or heartburn. Its terrible!

I have started to use bio-oil on my scars, spoke to the lady at the health food shop, she said it was ok to put them on as long as they had sealed. So I have started that today.

I am still feeling hungry, I am not sure if its just growling or actual hunger. Thats why I decided to up my food intake to see if I can remedy that.

My water intake isn't as good as it should be but I am working on that, I suppose I should start to exercise soon too.

8 days post op

Ok won't be as lazy as I was last post, I will write this instead of copy and pasting!!

Surgery wise things are going good. I have one particular incision that is causing me a bit of pain, so I took the bandages off and had a look and it looked terrible! So on the way home from work yesterday I bought some more steri-strips. Got home jumped straight into the shower thinking that the water would loosen the ones that weren't already falling off, wrong. So I started to peel them off and I split the scar on my belly button **Cry** Ouch, made me feel sick, and due to the dynamics at home at the moment, I had to do it on my own. So I did it, and then had to sit down because I felt exhausted. I have a really sore back at the moment too.

I am feeling a bit down today, could be whats going on at home (or whats not more to the point), or the fact that I get to work and my brother has blocked my husbands emails from coming through. With what is going on at home at the moment, that's all I need, for him to think I have blocked him. And more to the point WTF does he think even touching my email. I am 100%certain he gets personal emails on his work email, apart from the fact that he has organised building his new house during work for the last 8 or so months. Hypocrite. Makes me so angry.

Anyway that was a depressing blog! My day can only get better from here, surely?

I am 5 days post surgery

I am going to copy and paste some stuff in here cause my head still doesnt feel 100%!!
21.4.2009
Hi guys, just checking in from my hospital bed! Feeling pretty sore and sorry for my self. I think I have been having reflux, which is what is making me the most uncomfortable. Haven't hS nything except water yet. Got mum to ring my Sarah and hold her off coming to visit till tonight, I was so out of it yesterday afternon.
Feeling heaps better todaya than yesterday, I love IV pain killers they rock.

And Jus, they took the paper undies when they gave me a sponge bath lastnight. They took any dignity I had too!

They gave me the option of going home today, but I will take advantage of having a choice and stay one more night.

Anyway just thought I'd say hi!!
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22.4.2009
Ok so today I am having a wtf have I done to myself day!! I feel really terrible. Can't get any sleep but i have to go home today because A has to go back to work tomorrow and I need to take Sarah to day care

I have only had about 300ml of water since monday morning, I am dying to gulp down a glass of water. I can't even stomach any mylanta. The have been giving me nexim injections for the reflux.

I will really try to eat some breakfast today, because I wonder if its also 'hunger'making me feel this bad.

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22.4.2009
Thank you all so much for your support. I must admit I might have underestimated the recovery. Bec has just been in to pick up Sarah, she is having a sleep over. I can't tell you how much my families support has meant to me, my brother even came and vistied yesterday and Mum was there when I woke up from the Op. Bec's been holding the office togethere and A has been great. Even following him getting 2 teeth pulled yesterday. We are like some silly head sore couple at the moment. I will get there, I have to I have no choice, this is not reversable, nor do I want it to be. Just getting through the next coouple of days is my first goal. The sleeve site I am on generally say you are back to normal about 1 week after surgery, 5 days to go.

Thank you all again x
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23/4/2009
Thanks girls, well after a good nights sleep I feel a lot better. I doubt that I would have been comfortable taking Sarah to daycare today, so I am so greatful that Bec took her for me.

Kirsty - You are right,I do need to drink more, I should be sipping to stave off dehydration. So I will start shortly.

I had a sustagen for breakfast, about 20ml! I can't believe that I could down that before without even thinking of it, now this one will last me 3 days!!

I have some good bruises on my legs from where they gave me my injections, took some photos of the damage whilst having a shower this morning.

I had to get off my arse and have a shower. I have a friend coming over She has had a lap band and she is off work sick, so thought she'd come and see me. She better not make me sick!

Anyway thats where I am at, thank you all for your thoughts. I am back to my surgery weight today, so tomorrow should show a loss!!!
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23.4.2009
Thanks again girls. Better to be safe than sorry. I can't believe that I am surviving on 1 ice block, 20mls of sustagen, and I am about to give some soup a go!

I should be drinking more water, but the gurgle is so weird. I don't get hunger pains but I do get the gurgle associated with hunger. So very strange!
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24.4.2009
Oh My God! Weighed in this morning I am down to 102kg!!!! Holy Hell!!

And I managed some porridge this morning!! Yay!!!

Yeah the bruises are from the anti blood clot injections, and they also gave me some anti nausea ones there too. They were actually painless to go in.

Re the up and go, I have only had sustagen so far, and that has lasted me 2 days, and hardly feels like I've even opened it. I have been a bit more experimental with volume today, so hopefully I will get through a popper soon! I have had some vitamin water, porridge and chicken soup. Have a bit of reflux, which is freaking horrible! I went out and about a bit today, I'm a bit slow, but getting there!

Had my dressings changed this morning, and the nurse said they are looking good. I don't have stiches just the steri strips.

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And thats where I am at the moment, its been slow, but will be well worth it!!

1 more sleep

I can't believe the time is finally here. I have lost 4.4kg since I started Optislim, which was 9 days ago. And I was thinking to myself that I could do this on my own, but I know I couldn't. Because without a person to be accountable to, I would eat something once that I shouldn't then continue to do the same until gradually the shakes and water are well and truley forgotten about. I am so excited & nervous about tomorrow!!! I can't believe that I am spending $7000+ on me, but I know at the end of the day it will be well and truley worth it!!

I am below my goal of 40kg to lose. I need to lose 38.4 to get to my goal weight!! I wonder how long it will take! I can't wait to have photos taken this christmas to compare to the last few years. 2 years ago I saw the photos from Christmas lunch and I cried. I can't believe that I let myself get so big. I can't even comprehend that there is the risk of becoming underweight!! I would have never ever thought that was even possible!!

I might not get on now till after my surgery, so next time I blog I will be 2/3 of a stomach down....hmm I wonder how much that weighs.... LMAO!!!

2 sleeps to go

Faced a pretty big test today. I went to a birthday party for my neice Olivia who has just turned 3. OMG, lolly bananas, cake, savaloys, crackers and dip, coke.... and I had a salad and a bottle of water! And I didnt feel deprived. I felt glad, because this morning I hit 104kg on the scales. Thats a loss of 3.8kg since friday week ago, so 8 days!!! I can't believe it! I feel so good.

I'm getting a bit nervous about the op now, its major surgery, who wouldn't. But I know that this is my life we are working on, I want to enjoy it.
My top reasons to lose weight in no particular order:

• To buy clothes from whatever shop I want
• To buy something because I like it, not because I like it the best out of what fits me.
• To go for a walk and enjoy it, not dread it
• To finally eat to live, not live to eat
• Bit of energy in bed wouldn't go astray either ;) (Sorry Mum)
• I don't want to be fat, and uncomfortable any more

I set my first mini goal at 100kg. But since that is only 4kg away, lets make it 95kg. Bring it on, I am so ready for this!!

5 sleeps to go!

Well another couple of days down and a couple of days closer. I had my booking in appointment at the hosptial this morning. They got me to fill in some forms gave me an EKG and some soap and told me to be there at 7am on Monday.

Sarah is looking forward to sleeping over at Pam's house on Sunday night. And the nurse told me today that I would only be in one night, so I might be home on Tuesday. Which she'll be happy about!

I am a bit apprehensive about only being in for one night. The pros to staying a couple more is that I get the IV pain killers and only have to lay there. At home I won't be able to help myself I will keep getting up to do stuff! And in hospital your "meals" are provided and I don't have to cook them!! I will request another night if I feel like I need it. I worry about there being a leak, and if I am in hospital they will catch that!

I haven't had anymore weightloss which is weird but its TTOM so hopefully I will get a nice surprise in a day or two. I am feeling good, really good. I haven't cheated and eaten anything I shouldn't have, except a small bake at home roll 3 days ago. And I didn't really need that, just did it because thats what I do and thats my problem!!

We have been flat out at work so I haven't really had a chance to think about being on a diet much, which is usually what I do, and I think about what I am missing out on!

So I am happy, and approaching this with excitement, I can't believe that this time in 12 or even 6 months I will look differently!!

Off to have a nicely warmed optifast, actually enjoying them now!

Day 4 - 6 to go!!

Well I am really struggling here today :(
Last night we went to the local RSL for dinner, I had vegies and the others had steak or fish and chips and pavlova for desert. I was so tempted to eat a chip or some fish, but I didn't and the will power it took made me feel like crying. :oops: I even picked up a chip to feel if it was crunchy :shock: After Bec and Jase and the kids had gone I told A how difficult that was, and he actually said, I am proud of you! I can't believe how deep my issues with food are if I nearly cry when I am forced to use my will power.
I am feeling water logged and I've only drunk about 1 litre, still another one to go!
I am feeling pretty happy with myself that I have stuck to this so well. I didn't have a taste of chocolate yesterday, was [i]hardly[/i] tempted Sarah got so much choc, and I know she'll forget about it and it will go in the cupboard to be thrown out before next easter Or added to the school raffel basket
I am down 2.4kg today, which is pretty amazing for 3 days!
This time next week I will be sleeved!!!